A widespread phenomenon of receiving cruel feedback when our bodies don’t meet the unrealistic beauty standards of our time. We spend our time lost in self-critical thoughts, despising our bodies and comparing ourselves unfavorably to others. That is not okay.
Society shapes us in many ways, possibly more than we realize. From our thinking and judging to our personal development through the eyes of the most. As humans, we are social beings, we tend to rely on others for survival more than we think. So it really isn’t a shock to know that our confidence and self-esteem all rely on the way others perceive our image.
Body shaming manifests in so many ways. No matter how it manifests, it often leads to comparison and shame. It perpetuates the idea that people should be judged mainly for their physical features. Feeling ashamed of how we look has become normal, hardly any of us think we make the beauty grade. We might even find it very odd when someone is entirely comfortable in his/her own skin. Ashamed of being too fat or too thin. Ashamed of large pores, acne, or wrinkles. Ashamed of our leg fuzz, hairline, or unibrow. Ashamed of our big, bumpy, or pointy nose.
As a young lady, I have decent background information and experience regarding the struggle of feeling comfortable in my own skin. The fact that our happiness and strength only come from the approval of others is a pill hard to swallow, for me at least.
My mind can’t process the fact that even now, during the 21st century, judgments based on appearances are still a thing, maybe even more than ever. Such cruel misfortunes make people reconsider their state of being due to the buildup of insecurities that originated from the meaningless judgments of others.
Over recent years, “Body dissatisfaction” has been on the rise for men as well. This isn’t something just affecting young men either, it’s extensively reported across a range of age groups. What's worse is that not a lot of people are aware of this issue spreading among men in general. Research shows it can lead to depression, steroid abuse, and even suicide. It’s no surprise that men feel this way when all you see in magazines and advertisements are guys in their 20’s with lean, muscular bodies. So, anyone that doesn’t fit this notion of “attractiveness” is going to automatically feel like they’re not good enough.
Another very important issue is insulting based on physical features. This is even worse than direct body shaming. You can't use "fat" as an insult to a person that you don't like then tell your plus-size friend they are beautiful in the same breath. You can't weaponize physical traits as insults one second and as compliments next. Let's face it, It is easier and more tempting to just let a hateful comment on one's appearance slip away when in conflict. However, the best way to solve a problem or end an argument is by understanding how you and the person on the other side feel about the issue.
Whatever the feature is, it should never be pointed out as something you should be ashamed of regardless of the situation. The most offensive thing you can do to anyone's body is to insult or wish a part of it away.
The shame many people experience throughout their lives can have lasting and potentially debilitating effects on their self-esteem. The statements below speak for themselves, and I'm sure that you'll see a little bit of yourself in each of them.
"Growing up, i was a chubby kid. I was the sore thumb because all of my family members were considered "fit". Body shaming lived with me throughout the years from family members and even myself. I couldn't take it anymore so i started working out to lose the weight and please others. I reached to a point that made me "fit in" but then I couldn't give up on the progress I went through, and that made me continue my fitness journey. I started realising that I'm doing this for myself this time and not for others. I started liking the progress a lot now that my mentality was healthy and stable. I concluded that if the shaming was directed as an advice to get healthier, my mentality would have been much better.” —A.G
"Back in middle and high school, i wished i could get rid of my acne. I tried all products and diets that could cross your mind. There was always some spot that needed cover-up. Some pulsating feeling of pain on my face. It was exhausting, frustrating, and totally consuming. Not to mention, really soul-sucking. For me, struggling with acne was a wake-up call that made me discover the patterns of obsession — and how we must intentionally break through them if we’re to live a truly meaningful life. As long as I'm healthy, I'm alright." —S.A
"Regarding my experience, i was 'skinny shamed' a lot. not many people realise that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming. Going through puberty was tough, mainly because all the girls my age suddenly got curvier. I thought my turn would come later, but it didn't. I know I'm underweight, but pointing it out is very annoying. A lot of people would give me unwanted advice for getting thicker like specific exercises and strict diets to get the "perfect body". I kept trying until I realised my health was getting way worse. Back pain and cholesterol levels became unbearable. After a while, I stopped trying to change myself. I grew into the phase of appreciating myself the way I am. I strongly believe that appreciation is key to happiness and self acceptance." -Anonymous
Your body works really hard for you, you might as well give it some positivity in return. Instead of beating yourself emotionally because of body issues that constantly happen due to many factors (aging, pregnancy, lifestyle changes, etc..), enjoy the beautiful body you have. Don't let useless comments push you down when you can embrace those so-called "flaws" you're being made fun of for. Appreciate the stretch marks, the curves, the freckles, and smile lines. Appreciate the journey your body resembles. This is your journey, so why fit into the “standard body type” when you can be your own?
Yasmeen Masoud
Beyond the Blogs
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